When to Give Up on Your Goals

A few years ago, I had a brilliant New Year's resolution: I'd arrange to play squash with my friend Ben three times a week. The lure of seeing him would compel me to visit the gym, and we'd get fit in the process. The only hitch was that Ben, as a teacher, had to be at work early, so our matches could begin no later than 6:00 a.m. For over a year, we kept up the ritual — until I finally realized I was so exhausted from the early mornings, I wasn't productive the rest of the day.

Goal setting can be powerful. It's important to periodically look at your priorities and ensure you're doing the things that matter, whether it's seeing friends, getting healthy, or making more sales calls. But it's equally important to re-evaluate those goals to ensure they're still appropriate. At my gym — the same one I visited with Ben — there's a huge banner with a Lance Armstrong quote: "Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever." But I'd like to suggest there are three very good reasons to abandon your goals.
When your goals have adverse consequences. Just as predicted with my squash plan, I enjoyed seeing Ben frequently and I lost ten pounds over the course of the year. But I also made the erroneous assumption that over time, I'd learn to wake up gracefully at 5:15 a.m. Despite the benefits of the routine, I eventually realized the cost — my fatigue and lost productivity — was too great to keep it up.
When your goals impede other objectives. A while back — driven by stress — I decided to schedule in my "life balance." Planner in hand, I'd spend Sunday nights carving out weekly time for friends (four hours), working in coffee shops (four hours), networking (three hours), and the like. I tried my new schedule for months, dutifully monitoring my time allocation to ensure I'd checked off the boxes and was leading a balanced life. But my stress level never seemed to go down, and I realized scheduling my life was actually impeding my enjoyment of it. I constantly felt boxed in, with no room for spontaneity. Today, I have looser guidelines for myself, and perhaps less balance, but I'm enjoying myself more.
When your goals are no longer appropriate. I recently received an attractive job query: Would I like to become the Communications Director for a prominent elected official? A decade ago, I certainly would have; back then, I spent hours crafting my resume and badgering my contacts to recommend me for a job very much like the one I was now being offered. It almost felt like a betrayal of my 20-something self to say no — but I did, anyway. In the intervening years, I had served in positions similar enough to satisfy my curiosity, and now, as a consultant, I had contracts and commitments to honor. The right goals for you now aren't necessarily the ones you set in college, or five years ago, or even last month.
"Winners never quit, and quitters never win" — that's what they told us on the Little League field. But in business, and in life, sometimes quitting is the best thing you can do.
What goals have you abandoned, and why? How did you make the decision?

Things that You Never do during Interview

With the job market extremely tight, even the small stuff counts, especially when you’re on a job interview. That’s why it’s so important not to say or do the wrong things, since that first impression could end up being the last one.

With that in mind, here are seven deadly sins of job interviewing.

1. Don’t Be Late To the Interview
Even if you car broke down or the subway derailed, do everything you can to get to that job interview on time.
“If you have a legitimate excuse it’s still hard to bounce back,” says Pamela Skillings, co-founder of job coaching firm Skillful Communications. “People are suspicious because they hear the same excuses all the time.”
On the flip side, you don’t want to show up too early and risk appearing desperate, but you do want to be there at least five minutes early or at the very least on time.
2. Don’t Show Up Unprepared
It seems simple, but countless people go on job interviews knowing very little about the company they are interviewing with when all it would take is a simple Google search to find out. As a result, they end up asking obvious questions, which signal to the interviewer that they are too lazy to prepare.
“Don’t ask if the company is public or private, how long it’s been in business and where they do their manufacturing,” says Mark Jaffe, president of Wyatt & Jaffe, the executive search firm. “Sharpen your pencil before you go to school.”
3. Don’t Ask About Salary, Benefits, Perks
Your initial interview with a company shouldn’t be about what the company can do for you, but what you can do for the company. Which means the interview isn’t the time to ask about the severance package, vacation time or health plan. Instead you should be selling yourself as to why the company can’t live without you.
“Your interest should be about the job and what your responsibilities will be,” says Terry Pile, Principal Consultant of Career Advisors. “Asking about vacation, sick leave, 401K, salary and benefits should be avoided at all costs.”
4. Don’t Focus On Future Roles Instead Of The Job At Hand
The job interview is not the time or place to ask about advancement opportunities or how to become the CEO. You need to be interested in the job you are actually interviewing for. Sure, a company wants to see that you are ambitious, but they also want assurances you are committed to the job you’re being hired for.
“You can’t come with an agenda that this job is just a stepping stone to bigger and better things,” says Jaffe.
5. Don’t Turn The Weakness Question Into A Positive
To put it bluntly, interviewers are not idiots. So when they ask you about a weakness and you say you work too hard or you are too much of a perfectionist, chances are they are more apt to roll their eyes than be blown away. Instead, be honest and come up with a weakness that can be improved on and won’t ruin your chances of getting a job.
For instance, if you are interviewing for a project management position, it wouldn’t be wise to say you have poor organizational skills, but it’s ok to say you want to learn more shortcuts in Excel. “Talk about the skills you don’t have that will add value, but aren’t required for the job,” says Pile.
6. Don’t Lie
Many people think its ok to exaggerate their experience or fib about a firing on a job interview, but lying can be a surefire way not to get hired. Even if you get through the interview process with your half truths, chances are you won’t be equipped to handle the job you were hired to do. Not to mention the more you lie the more likely you are to slip up.
“Don’t exaggerate, don’t make things bigger than they are and don’t claim credit for accomplishments you didn’t do,” says Jaffe. “You leave so much room in your brain if you don’t have to fill it with which lie you told which person.”
7. Don’t Ask If There’s Any Reason You Shouldn’t Be Hired
Well meaning career experts will tell you to close your interview by asking if there is any reason you wouldn’t be hired. While that question can give you an idea of where you stand and afford you the opportunity to address any concerns, there’s no guarantee the interviewer is going to be truthful with you or has even processed your information enough to even think about that.
“All you are doing is prompting them to think about what’s wrong with you,” says Skillings.

Look Different from the Market, Not Just Other's

If you're an experienced professional, it can be tough to find a job in today's market. Sally (name has been changed) was laid off six months ago. She was a training manager for a large corporation, advising middle and senior managers on career development. She'd worked for her company for a dozen years and was regarded by her boss and her peers as a good performer. Located at the home office, she developed long-term relationship with her clients. Because management and professional services have traditionally been delivered face-to-face, Sally thought her job and location were reasonably safe. But they weren't.
Looking for a job was harder than Sally thought. She didn't just face tough competition from younger job seekers. The market dynamics that pushed her out of a job were happening across the whole marketplace for her profession. Global IT and increasing global pressures have dramatically changed the game. More people and companies are increasingly comfortable with virtual collaboration and remote professional services. As a result, many companies cut costs in those areas, just as they outsourced manufacturing decades ago. Between 2007 and 2008, financial, information, and professional service jobs were outsourced at an average rate of 5.4% (PDF). John McCarthy of Forrester Research predicts that at least 3.3 million white collar jobs and $136 billion in wages will shift from the U.S. to low-cost countries by 2015.
This shifts knowledge work from a craft into a knowledge production system. Where Sally was a skillful collaborator integrated into her division and providing tailored services, the new low-skilled remote staff advises clients with a semiautomated template of choices.
You might think you are immune to this shift if you are a manager, but that's not the case. This is a fundamental shift in how professional and managerial work gets done, and you can't merely sharpen your skills to stay competitive. You need to do something to distinguish your skills from "everyday" professional services.
We've known for a decade or more that this shift to more production-engineered knowledge work was underway. Like most of us, you probably couldn't have anticipated how much it could impact local job markets. It's not easy, but you can still chart a career through this difficult this environment.

• Get on the cutting edge of your discipline. It's tempting to concentrate on your core skills. But if your previous company isn't keeping your skills at your high-cost location, chances are high that prospective employers aren't either. You'll need to differentiate yourself. Every discipline evolves. You don't have to be a "fresh young thing" to bring new ideas and approaches to prospective employers. In fact, cutting-edge, seasoned expertise might be even more valuable. Learning about new developments in your field will be more engaging than pounding the pavement for your old job. Niche professional expertise is less likely to be reengineered and sent to an offshore or low-cost provider. Expertise that directly supports corporate leadership is also likely to remain in its current location because of its centrality to the leadership center of the organization.
• Become a contractor. If cost is a driving force for potential employers, you can still be cost competitive. As a consultant, you absorb the costs of benefits, and hiring you is a low-commitment proposition for employers. As you prospect for new clients, you can test out different combinations of your new cutting-edge focus. And as a consultant, your internal experience is a plus. Many companies in this transition hire back former employees as contract workers.
• Don't sell yourself short. It's tempting to get a job lower than your expertise. But with this global shift, de-skilling yourself is not likely to be an effective way to stay competitive because it puts you in direct competition with the low-cost, less-skilled competitors that are changing your field. Yes, as a contractor, you'll likely do some things that only use some of your skills, but it leaves you clear to continue to develop your edge. You offer your clients more for less.
• Find a market niche. A CPA was laid off from her high-paying, high-pressure job as comptroller in a small private sector company. When she became a consultant, she shifted her focus to accounting in nonprofits. Even though the accounting aspect of her niche is below her level of ability, she serves as the top advisor to the senior management team on the organizations' financial health and the potential financial impact of their decisions. Although she makes less money, it is better than competing with the literally hundreds of applicants for comptroller jobs. Her clients appreciate the fact that she can speak the language of senior management. She chose nonprofits that she had an emotional interest in and loves contributing to something she cares about. Finding a niche not only distinguishes you, but your expertise will be genuinely appreciated. 

Article Source

Richard McDermott

Richard McDermott, PhD, is president of McDermott Consulting and a Visiting Academic Fellow at the Henley Business School. He can be reached at Richard@McDermottConsulting.com.

Tips to Avoid Becoming Depressed

Is it possible to avoid depression? What is the secret of cultivating happiness and avoiding periods of unhappiness? To a large extent, we determine our own frame of mind; we shouldn’t feel that we are a helpless victim to depression. Depression is something that we can avoid by cultivating the opposite – happiness.
Here are some tips for avoiding depression
1. Offer goodwill to Others.
If we seek to make others miserable how can we expect to be happy ourselves? If we offer goodwill to other people this creates a powerful positive energy. Focusing on other people’s good qualities can definitely help improve our own state of mind. There is a principle that what we give out, we get back. Therefore, by offering positive energy to, at some time, we will also be the recipient.
2. Learn to Detach from Thoughts
Thoughts play a very significant role in determining our state of mind. If we pursue negative thoughts then we give them greater power and influence over our state of being. However, it is possible to decide which thoughts to allow and which to reject. We have to learn to be vigilant and prevent negative thoughts from taking hold. As soon as we become aware of negative thoughts we should let go of them. We can imagine that we are throwing them out of our mind into a cosmic dustbin.
3. Keep Busy.
If we struggle to detach from negative thoughts we should just throw ourselves into other activities. When we get involved in other activities that we enjoy it takes us out of ourselves. Activity forces us to do something constructive, and does not allow us to dwell on our depressed state of mind.
4. Avoid Feelings of guilt.
If we have made a mistake, harbouring feelings of guilt will not help alleviate the situation. In particular, we are seeking to avoid feelings of guilty for minor events of no significance. Often we have done nothing wrong, but, others seek to make us feel guilty for their bad fortune. Instead of feeling guilty we should seek to concentrate on doing the right thing.
5. Live a Balanced Life.
In life we need to make room for different aspects. If we focus all our time and energy on work then we will have no time for relaxation and cultivating other aspects of our life. If we pursue an unbalanced life unhappiness is more likely to occur.

6. Don’t Base your Happiness solely on other people.
If we expect to gain happiness from another person, at some time, we are bound to be disappointed. If bad relationships end, we should see it as an opportunity to move on. It is no use dwelling on what might have been. It is also a mistake to feel that we can change somebody to match our preferences. If we seek to change a person fundamentally we will just feel frustrated when we fail.
7. Share Problems
Good friendships can offer tremendous help. Especially, if we can have 1 or 2 friends who are able and willing to listen to our problems. Our friends will not be able to solve our problems. However, simply having someone to talk to and share difficulties is a tremendous help in being able to work through our own problems.
8. Cultivate Happiness.
To avoid depression we have to focus on the alternative which is happiness. The problem is that when we are depressed, the idea of happiness seems a million miles away. But, sometimes if we can force a smile or try to be insincerely happy, we can trick the mind and force happiness to descend; and after a while we start to achieve real happiness.

9. Have Low Expectations.
Depression often occurs because our desires remain unfulfilled. The more desires we have, the more likely we are to be disappointed. After disappointment comes a sense of frustration and depression. If we minimise our desires then we will not be prone to disappointment. This does not mean we cannot strive for excellence and achieve things. We definitely should strive to achieve various accomplishments. However, we should try to have an attitude of detachment to the outcome. Nor should we expect people to behave in a certain way.
10. Don’t Dwell On the Negative.
This is the key to avoiding depression. If we focus always on negative things this will eventually filter through into our state of mind. Negativity can be, miserable people, depressing situations and our own negative thoughts. If we want to cultivate happiness, we should seek to avoid depressing situations and depressing people.